Just how many times have you heard someone calling themselves a child trapped in an adult body? How many times do you see people being their stupid, demanding, attention-seeking and moody childish self? When was the last time you ‘were adult about something’? I spent a little more time on social media today. Twitter to be more specific. Facebook a bit. All I see around me is a childish world. A world that has nothing to do with adulthood, even though the height is more than our pre-adolescent selves.
Everywhere you go, you find people sick and tired of being adults. Sick of families, relationships and everything else you can think of. They are sick of their jobs. Sick of the daily commute. Sick of the traffic. Sick of the government. Sick of themselves. They want to quit their jobs but cannot. They want to shift to a more peaceful city but cannot. They want to be so much more than what they are but they cannot.
We are not adults. We are just growing old. There is nothing ‘adult’ about us except for the movies we watch on the internet and have GBs stored on our hard disk. Get that pun?
We are all children. We have emotions and expressions that can only meet that of a child. However, even though the child is trapped in the body of the adult, the childhood innocence barely exists. The body is often sick. The body is often about to give up. No one I know who is over 25 years has a healthy digestion. Everyone suffers day and night. Everyone is dragging along, in a body that can do nothing for them. Some are crazy for fitness though. They dump protein shakes in their ‘temples’ to beef up or get lean and no, we cannot judge them either.
Don’t you see how childish you are? Don’t you see how childish your partner, friend or family members are?
When your partner denies to be intimate with you, are they being cold or are they just conscious of their own body? Are they worried deep inside that they will not be able to make you happy?
When you ask them how work was or how their day went, do they just say ‘fine’? Do you think they are being distant or do you believe that they want to talk but feel that their work-talk would bore you? I was watching this video on YouTube by School Of Life and I realized one thing- people are not always as bad as we think they are. We all have our own share of insecurities. These insecurities are all engraved in our brains and like little children afraid of the dark holding teddies, we hold on to these insecurities like they will help us in avoiding hurt.
Oh yes! Avoiding hurt. A child inside us wants to avoid hurt. It wants to take pleasure in roaming around, free and uninhibited. It loves to just lie down on the bed and listen to some pop music. The child likes to watch cartoons. I like to watch cartoons. Doraemon-always. There are many insecurities that I am holding on to and I am sure you must have your fair share too.
Do you avoid going to parties sometimes, just because you think you will be ignored?
Do you avoid talking too much about your work, your relationship and your experiences just because you think you will come across as an attention seeker?
Do you feel that you are looking ugly and hence try to make the people who you find beautiful feel ugly?
Do you ever think that you should not approach someone, just because you will be rejected?
There is no harm in trying right? There is absolutely no harm. We all may not be able to show compassion to strangers on the street. This is because we are not compassionate towards ourselves. We are not compassionate towards the people who matter the most in our lives. We are children who often look after our own needs. We are children who want to get all the attention. We want our parents to look after us and love us unconditionally. We want to be forgiven for our mistakes and hugged. We want to be told that there is a future that we can look forward to. We want to be told that one day we will grow up and have responsibilities and a great career and more… albeit we just don’t want that ‘one day’ to arrive.
We are all children looking for reassurance every single day. Every heart needs the soft touch of another heart. Every heart deserves a prayer, one for self and one for the heart it loves.
How do we get started with this? Well, all I did was appreciate the little and big efforts that people are making for me. When they have to travel miles just to see me for a few hours, I may feel that I am not being given enough time. I may think it wasn’t a big deal. But for them, it was. Possibly, their plans don’t work out sometimes and it could be disappointing. However, the fact that they made an effort should be cherished. The fact that they at least tried should be cherished.
We can be a lot kinder towards people. We can be angry. We have all the rights to be angry. I was angry a couple hours ago. My first reaction was anger. A rage. I was sarcastic and had a sharp tongue. In moments, it cooled off and I came to the conclusion that trying is not bad and when people try something, they must always be appreciated.
Remember the first time you ‘tried’ drawing, writing or singing? You put an effort into things and effort is sexy. Let us appreciate and cherish efforts that people make for us. It will not be easy for me as well. I will try however. I will try being kinder. I will try not to be angry.
I will cherish every effort. I will try. So can you.